As a teenage volunteer in Greenwich I spend a lot of time around younger children and have the occasion to observe how they are when they're alone, versus how they act when they're in groups or with their close friends. It really saddens me to see how vulnerable they make themselves by asking for approval from their fellow eight-year-olds.
For example, if I'm in the bathroom and see a wolfpack of eight-years-olds complaining about how they look, I always try to build them up.
So, it shocked me to learn about a current trend among children of going on YouTube to ask millions of anonymous viewers this question: "Am I ugly?" I first learned about this on the MSN website, where the YouTube link of a girl roughly 12-years-old asks whether or not she is in fact ugly.
Then I learned there are thousands upon thousands of similar videos such as this one of another girl who appears to be about 8-years-old. This girl looks about the same age of kids I volunteer with.
I think that the reality TV format with shows like "Jersey Shore" and "Real World" have erased the boundary between what is private and what you can bear to the public. There's an expression teenagers use: "TMI" which means too much information. Similarly these young kids on Youtube are mimicking that exact behavior, only with much more severe consequences. Everyone feels unattractive some days, but bearing your soul is not the answer to improving your self esteem.
Internet trolls have absolutely no mercy
These kids posting videos are completely vulnerable. Cyber-bullying is already a problem and children are setting themselves up for the full potential of a scarry mass pile on. Their opinion of themselves is so low that they might instead ask "Do I Have Low Self-Esteem?" YouTube viewers couldn't care less about your self esteem. Anonymous internet trolls will have absolutely no mercy.
Looks are supposed to be uninportant, that's what we've been told. But there is a new era of superficiality causing girls to conform to a fake ideal of "beauty." Beauty comes in different shapes, colors and sizes, but they're depending on the media to tell them that long blonde hair and blue eyes is beautiful. But if someone has brown hair and dark brown eyes, does that mean they are not equally beautiful? How can it be that you are not beautiful until someone tells you that you are?
My advice to these poor kids who feel the need to question their self-worth and appearance is to find someone you respect and trust, to share the difficulties you are going through.
As the mother of four teenagers, I can't help wondering where the parents of these kids posting these youtube videos are? Why on earth would you allow your child to post a video of herself at 8, 9, 10 or even 16 on youtube, especially one that opens them up to such ridicule?
Keep up the great work that you're doing, you're really going to make an impact on someone for the better with your work. I hope that my children have the confidence when they're your age to stand up for what they believe in and make a difference in someone else's life.
How are you today? My name is kadi kabore, I saw your profile and i like it so i decided to write to you. I will like you to write and tell me more about your self direct to my email id kadikabore@yahoo.com from there i will reply with more of my details and pictures. I will be waiting to recieve from you. have a nice day. kadi
No, she is not my daughter, but someone special in my heart. I saw her off to her first day at kindergarten and flew from Tampa to Chicago to see walk down the aisle on her graduation day at grammar school. She is a second year steuden now in High school, and wants to quit school. How does one plead with her to not destroy her life. Maybe someone in her age group can talk to her. She has 50 pages of homework to be done. Her mother is a single parent with limited education as with her grandparents. I am at my wits end to do something, but cant. I am not family. But I just cannot sit idly by and watch a 16 year destroy her life. The problem she lives in Spring Hill, Fl about 60 miles from where I live in Largo.. Are there any answers out there. To me, the only answer can from her own age group as she is rebelling against h elders.
a group of strangers to tell them what they look like. I was raised to see myself as being beautiful because so many will not. On NEIGHBORS we list all of our young people as stars - the beautiful, wondrous hope for the future. Now I feel like I'm not doing enough.
You are an amazing young woman and I want to congratulate you for your generosity of spirit, for your volunteering & for your caring. I know that your compassion and your wisdom will help people of any age (young or old) that you come into contact with. As several people have already said, Beauty comes from within. A physically unattractive person who has an awesome personality will appear attractive. People will look beyond the physical. One thing I can tell you, as a Hypnotherapist, is that everyone can build their confidence and their self esteem, very easily. If you or any Patch readers want to know how, leave a question or comment for me and I will respond when I can. If I happen to miss your comment or question please feel free to email me via my website at: www.integrativechangehypnosis.com You are an awesome young woman Alleyha and should be very proud of yourself.