The Freelance Retort: My Free Spirit Charges

I used to have a free spirit, but now, like everything else, it charges for anything beyond minimum spirit services.

So basically, unless I pay, all it does is show up, eats my Mallomars and naps all afternoon….

Yeah….

Who needs that?

I mean I can do that all on my own, with or without my spirit.

So I bit the bullet and went for the Nickel Spirit package, which includes 100 Gigs of mirth a month.

I thought about going another 10 bucks and doing the Silver Spirit package, which gives you double that…or possibly even the Gold package, for another 20, which gives you unlimited mirth and actually includes uninhibited joy…but that kind of thing just makes me nervous, not to mention skeptical.

I mean, do I really believe my spirit is capable of uninhibited joy?

Really?

I mean have you seen my Christmas party pictures?

Yeah….

Plus, while they claim “unlimited”, everyone knows there’s no such thing.

There’s a limit on everything.

And what would my neighbors think if I suddenly started flitting around with unlimited mirth and uninhibited joy?

Nothing good, I can tell you that.

Plus, I don’t have the clothes for that kind of thing.

So I went with the Nickel.

Despite the attitude I get from my spirit.

“What can you do with just a 100 Gigs of mirth?” my spirit asks, in that condescending way it has.

“I can do plenty!” I respond…although to be honest, I’m not sure what.

“Do you know how much mirth it takes to flirt with that girl at the Taco stand?”

“Uhm…I don’t flirt with—“

“Save it…!  25 Gigs…25 Gigs, just to flirt, which also costs you the extra burrito.  And that doesn’t even include innuendos. Innuendos are gonna cost you another 10 Gigs.”

So my Spirit, free or not, does have a bit of a point…which is odd because you'd think a spirit would be sort of round.

Just kidding…you know…the mirth thing. 

I paid for it, so I do have to use some of it…and the taco stand is out…at least until....

For the rest of the story, or to just kill a couple of more minutes while you're waiting for your spirit to rise please Click Here.. 

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