If you get along with your former spouse and co-parent effectively read no further. Occasions for family participation do not stop with the end of a marriage. You and your former spouse remain the parents of your child/children whether they are 2, 20 or 50 years old. Birthdays, holidays, religious events, school conferencing, college trips/college move in/graduation , recitals , are just a few of the many possible events you might have attended together were you still married . Often these events become the most painful part of the family’s “new life”; both for the child of divorced parents and as the divorced parent.
This article is not meant to make suggestions for effective co-parenting, rather this list was compiled to make you more at ease when you attend shared events which in turn will hopefully make your child’s experience more comfortable too. The following are a few issues for you to consider:
1.Should you attend or does the activity only require one parent?
2.Who brings/leaves with the children?
3.Where do you sit at the event?
4. Are there post event activities?
5.Do you bring your new “mate”? Do you bring the “in law” that always caused conflict in your marriage?
6.Is this an event that can be celebrated separately?
7.Who is responsible for the plans surrounding the party, awards ceremony, soccer game or wedding?
We all know that we come to these events with anticipations which are often complicated by the expectations and personality of an ex spouse. There are a variety of ways to handle these circumstances and I would not presume to tell you what works best for you and your children. Preparing your self with thoughtful examination of your personality, your spouses nature and the circumstances themselves will hopefully lower stress. By developing a script anda game plan will make the anticipation as well as the event easier.
"Divorce Information Now" is an ongoing column where readers can submit questions about divorce in the comment stream and we will respond in subsequent blogs. Find us at http://www.divorceinformationnow.com/ "