Calendar Confusion: Co-Parenting Can Be Tricky!

It is a safe bet that each parent will have a different parenting style and it is a safer bet that neither parent will be terribly interested in changing it!


It’s that time of year and we are all organizing our calendars for the 2012/2013 school year. If you are divorced, or in the process of divorcing, you will have to add the “Co-Parenting” category to your already crammed schedule. In divorced families where custody arrangements and vacation schedules operate smoothly, organizing your calendar, although more complicated, can proceed with few snags. As you manage your/your children’s calendar you need to follow your agreed upon “Parent Plan”, prepare for schedule changes and keep records associated with shared expenses.

A word to the wise……

It is a safe bet that each parent will have a different parenting style and it is a safer bet that neither parent will be terribly interested in changing it!  It is fairly common for one parent to mistrust the caretaking capabilities of the other parent.  “The children are fed too much pizza, they don’t get to bed on time, their ailments aren’t taken seriously enough.” Unless the other parent is truly irresponsible or unsafe, you can’t control the circumstances anyway.

The other parent should be given your itinerary, your cell & home telephone numbers as well as the children’s itinerary, school and medical contact information. Where feasible, arrange times when the children and the other parent can communicate by phone.

As with virtually every aspect of co-parenting in a divorced family, the key to navigating your children’s calendar and their well-being is the ability to work together being sensitive to their feelings and needs.  This is always a tall order, since for many divorced parents, every decision or new plan becomes a battleground for playing out the unresolved conflicts and rancor between them.

"Divorce Information Now" is an ongoing column where readers can submit questions about divorce in the comment stream and we will respond in subsequent blogs. Find us at http://www.divorceinformationnow.com/ "

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

Margaret Callahan September 19, 2012 at 03:54 PM
Worse is when the ex picks up daughter for Feb. ski vacation and says at pick-up they're going to Miami...after I've packed the case.
DivorceInformationNow.com September 19, 2012 at 04:43 PM
Which forces you to choose between the mental health of your child and your mental health over who is going to (re)pack the bag with the weather appropriate clothing.
ramona piccolo September 23, 2012 at 09:40 PM
Adults have been misled regarding how children bounce back from a divorce. Look at the 2 comments. Are either directed at the child. Psychologists, etc have misled parents for too long. God Bless the children
Tank September 23, 2012 at 11:31 PM
Keep that private Margaret. We don't care and I'm sure your ex has some stories about you as well.


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